Testimonials

MHS Improving Lives – The Most Unlikely Moments

“This is none of your business anyway, so what are you even doing here?” Connor spat, eyeing his grandmother with rebellious rage.

Connor and his grandmother, who was his guardian, continued their heated session as she ranted, “Over and over again, it’s the same thing!” she cried, “Calls! I’m always getting calls about some trouble, some mess you’re in! It never changes!” Wet eyes flashing and face flushed, she clenched her tissue-filled fists in her lap and shook her head. “When’s it going to end? I’ll tell you when—never! You’re just like your father and your grandfather!” Her voice broke momentarily; she fell silent, her anger fading. She wiped away tears now trailing her cheeks and added, “Just like my father, for that matter.” Shoulders suddenly drooping, she said, “No one ever changes in our family.” Her words weighted with debilitating hopelessness.

I’m a counselor at an MHS program that provides services at schools and I began seeing Connor as he finished his freshman year of high school. Connor taught me that sometimes growth comes at the most unlikely moments. As you can tell, the initial session was tense. Connor’s grandmother had made it clear that Connor’s growth—if there were to be any—would definitely be an exception.

During the first year of treatment, Connor was suspended numerous times, defiant toward teachers, left sessions without permission, and regularly got high. It seemed as if nothing worked. Even gentle prodding in session with him would cause an explosive reaction. Clearly triggered by fear, his response would be to reject anything I had to say. I had almost given up hope.

During the summer after his sophomore year, I decided to go out on a limb and begin having Connor do self-inventories and interventions at home. I thought that having him do assignments that included reflection out of session might cause less anxiety. Although few of my other clients would actually complete “homework,” I had a twinge of hope remaining that maybe Connor would do what many others had not.

Sitting in the heat one summer day, I tentatively asked Connor if he had ever heard of doing a “genogram.” Thinking it was related to the word telegram, he laughed and made joking remarks about singing telegrams and sending birthday wishes to unsuspecting recipients. Clarifying that the word was genogram, not telegram, I went on to explain that it helps show family patterns and how those patterns might be influencing us. Armed with a notebook full of information on how to complete a genogram, I explained what each symbol meant, how to draw it out, and what patterns to look for. Then, I cautiously asked, “Would you be willing to try to do this at home?” Without an ounce of excitement, Connor shrugged and said, “Maybe.” And that was the end of my miraculous intervention…or so I thought.

Two weeks went by without a word from Connor. Although I was scheduled to meet with him weekly, it wasn’t unusual for Connor to miss a session. Still I was hoping he’d given the assignment some thought. As the day of our next scheduled meeting approached, I found myself hesitant to ask about the genogram. Maybe it was a big failure, or maybe he had forgotten all about it. The hour for the session arrived, and to my surprise, Connor came bounding in the door with a giant smile. “That genogram thing was amazing!” he said. I nearly fell off my seat, but recovered to reply smoothly, “Great, tell me what you learned?”

Over the course of the next hour, we talked about all the patterns he was able to identify in his family, the areas he wanted to change, and the pressure he feels from breaking the mold. The genogram assignment was the turning point not only for our therapeutic relationship, but for Connor’s world view as well.

In fact, he went on to meet all of his goals for therapy. He gained a new respect for his teachers, and a deeper perspective on what plagues his family. He no longer walked out of sessions when he got angry.

Watching him walk up to the stage on the football field, I smiled as I blinked back tears. Connor stood tall and shook the principal’s hand, then made his way off the stage, waving his fists in the air victoriously—his diploma clenched in one of them. From my seat in the bleachers, I spotted his grandmother in the crowd as she cheered through tears of her own.

Connor has since gone on to break the mold in his family by going off to college. He took with him insight into his own life, and future goals for a successful family of his own.

Change may be long and arduous, but I have learned to never give up hope. A glimmering moment of growth might be right around the corner.

Whose Life Will You Change Today?

"Graduation. So…now it’s time to say good bye to all the MHS family! You know it’s been about a year now and I believe I’ve gotten the most that I could get from attending here at MHS. From all the different types of groups to a summer field trip to the beach, (which was soooooo…much fun and exciting). I feel the support that I’ve received here at MHS has allowed me to move on with my life and accomplish many of the goals that I’ve set out to do. For example: I started going to school while attending here, I’ve finished the school program and I’m now awaiting my phlebotomy license, I’ve followed through with getting a divorce, last but not least I did receive a job, (not doing exactly what I really want to do but it’s at least a job for now)! While attending here I’ve also gained a few really good friends that I am still really close to till this day! Good-luck and stay positive!" -- CalWORKs Graduate

“The Therapeutic Behavioral Services program and our coach taught us the life skills that I need as a parent and my son needs to control his behavior. Our lives have changed in a most positive way.” — Haven B.

“Reduction in criminal behavior results in incarceration cost-savings that are greater than the cost of the program. Of the clients who use MHS’ in-prison and parolee services, the rate of reincarceration has dropped from 70 percent to just 25 percent.” — Howard Foster, FACT, CADC, MHS Program Manager for the Parolee Partnership Program and the Prop 36 Assessment Center

“TBS helped teach me a lot of skills that I needed to help my son, and provided me with emotional support.  They gave me a lot of resources that I was not aware of.  I think the bottom line is that my son was close to going to a group home and if it hadn’t been for TBS he would probably be there right now…TBS was able to show me other ways of dealing with his issues…it made me realize there was still hope, when I had thought all hope was gone.  I would 100% recommend TBS to anybody dealing with the same problems.” – Parent of TBS Client

“I was homeless, drinking, depressed, and hopeless…I met (an MHS) Homeless Outreach Coordinator…offering people help through MHS. She helped me understand that I have a mental illness and that I was self medicating with alcohol and drugs for many years. I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist through (MHS) North County Mental Health Center since January 2, 2007, and I feel much better…Since that time, I have…completed individual therapy, and gone through Vocational Rehabilitation. I am about to start school to become an Emergency Medical Technician….My life has completely changed for the better from the moment I walked through the doors of MHS.” –Ricci M.

“During my time in custody, I was given the opportunity to go to Forever Free. There I learned that there was so much available to me once I was willing to change.  Forever Free helped me open up to the fact that ultimately it was all up to me; and I needed to decide what it was that I wanted to put into my recovery. The program kept me focused… I learned to ask myself, ‘How am I being and what am I doing?’  …On May 17, 2007, I was released to ‘start over.’…Cocaine brought me to ‘pitiful, incomprehensible, demoralization.’  Now, I practice daily something I learned while at Forever Free: ‘out of the problem, into the solution.’  I am so grateful…As I’ve moved into the solution, I’ve found that the “journey” of recovery—of life—is ever so sweet.” –Laurie D.

“I learned about (MHS) FOTEP through the substance abuse program at CIW. I feel blessed to have been accepted to this program. Since I have been here I have learned to recognize and work on the issues that lead me to use drugs…All my life I have struggled with abandonment and abuse issues as a child, I’ve tried to numb my emotions through drugs and a life of crime. I’m tired of my old ways of thinking and living. In the time been here I’ve learned how to be happy, clean and sober.”

–Evie M.

“When I was six years old, my mother gave me my first beer. She also introduced me to my first crack pipe… I lived a life of drugs, jails, and getting beat up… I knew I needed to do something different…I got to Providence Place five months pregnant, scared, and unhappy. I was still on parole, and did not have a clue…I stayed at Providence Place 15 months learning how to be a mother, how to be responsible, how to care for others. I also let others care about me. I had a lot of trust issues when I got there, but one day at a time and sharing my story in groups, listening to what the counselors had to share with me, I learned to trust. Today, I am a working mom and a responsible member of society. I have a job that I have been at for (six) years… Providence Place made the life I have today possible.” –Michelle E.